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Right: Angel Gabriel on a fanny mattress
Dear Confessional Box
I've heard of Fanny mattresses with wings but this is ridiculous, I had just changed my snatch rag when I noticed a faint
outline of an angel trying to feel up my button.
Quite frankly, I'm appauled.
Ivana Trump
Worthing
Right: Jesus on Toast
Dear Confessional Box,
I was buttering my toast this morning when I dropped it, of course it landed butter side down, upon retieving it from
the floor, I happened to notice the face of Jesus. If you squint your eyes and look up close you can just about see him preaching
his love with the divinity of God Almighty.
Dale Winton
Bradford
Right: The Virgin Mary residing in Strato-Cumulus
Dear Confessional Box
I just poked my head out the window to see what the weather was like, and lo and behold it was Virgin Mary again as bloody
usual.
Mick Hucknall
Bognor Regis
Above: A Prune
Dear Confessional Box
Its Mother Theresa isn't it?
Jeremy Beadle
Ipswich
Dear Jeremy,
Stop trying to pass of prunes as visions.
You're a gimp with a wanking claw who's not welcome here anymore.
Now go away.
The Confessional Box
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Above: Holy Cow
Dear Confessional Box
My wife Maureen and I were holidaying in Suffolk when we came upon this rather impressive cow. At first glimpse its markings
were rather unique, only upon closer inspection did we realise that it was in fact the basis of the first Eucharist and the
night before Jesus's crucifixion.
Funnily enough the same cow shortly became our dinner and maureen was rushed to hospital where she was pronounced dead
on arrival due to consumption of CJD.
Remarkable.
Kevin Keegan
Bodmin
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